"Best in Show”
Troupe players include (left to right): Frédéric de Cherbourg,
Elva MacAskil, Domhnall mac Pharlain, Beathog nic Dhonnchaidh
and Eabha inghean Domhnaill,
Franceschina enters:  I Sciocci!

(They are behind her, having followed her out; when she stops, they bump into
each other)...

Ah!  There you are!  
There isn’t much time; you must decide what you will perform for the queen.

Brigella: Who would know what the Queen likes best?

Dottore: The king, of course!

Isabella: Ballerina, you be the King! (Ballerina sits down on the ‘throne’)

Brighella: Franceschina, you be the court.

Franceschina: (curtsies) Ballerina, did you dress yourself again?

Franceschina pulls Viking hat, Viking apron, vase with rose, catapult from her
basket.

Isabella:  Franceschina, you don’t look right.

Brighella:

Dottore: It’s all about the bling!

Franceschina finds ‘bling’ in her basket: dead chicken, spoon, whistle, maybe
blinking lights.

Franceschina:  I Sciocci.... Do you have a presentation for His Majesty?

Dottore:  We will be presenting... poetry! (Isabella and Brighella echo “poetry?”
and show confusion with a shrug.)  

He bows and presents a rose to HM; it is passed to Franceschina, who returns
it to the vase.
Dottore recites poem and the others try to follow by parroting the last few
words of each line...

Franceschina: (responding the Ballerina’s gesture) Perhaps it could be more...
Viking!

Dottore now tries using a ‘Viking’ accent and the others follow along.

Franceschina:  No, that won’t work...
I Sciocci.... Do you have a presentation for His Majesty?

Brighella: We will be presenting...a song! (Isabella and Dottore echo “a song?”
and show confusion with a shrug).

He bows and presents a rose to HM; it is passed to Franceschina, who returns
it to the vase.
Brighella sings his song and the others try to follow...

Franceschina: (responding the Ballerina’s gesture) Perhaps it could be more...
Viking!
Brighella now tries to ‘Viking it up’ and the others try to follow...

Franceschina:  No, that won’t work...
I Sciocci.... Do you have a presentation for His Majesty?

Isabella:  We will be presenting... a dance! (Brighella and Dottore echo “a
dance?” and show confusion with a shrug).

She curtsies and presents a rose to HM; it is passed to Franceschina, who
returns it to the vase.  Isabella begins her dance and the others try to follow...

Franceschina: (responding the Ballerina’s gesture) Perhaps it could be more...
Viking!

Isabella tries to ‘Viking it up’ and the others follow...

Franceschina:  No, nothing seems to work

The others, ignoring her, begin to argue and perform their competing art forms
in cacophonous unison.  Ballerina, having enough, sends Franceschina to
make them stop.  Franceschina pulls out her wooden spoon and shakes it at
the bunch.  Ballerina makes the same “more Viking” gesture as before.  
Franceschina thus pulls out an axe, and chases the three advocates in circles.  
Ballerina jumps to her feet, applauding wildly.  Seeing her, they stop abruptly
and, again, bump into each other.

Dottore: It is decided, then!

Isabella: We will perform for the Queen...

Brighella: The Greatest Performance...

Franceschina: VIKING!

Brighella: The Greatest VIKING Performance in All the World!  For we are...

All:  I Sciocci!
Click on a thumbnail to see a full-sized photo
I Sciocci!
Cha toir a’bhòidhchead goil air a’ phoit.
Beauty won’t boil the pot.